My Post GRAMMY Wrap Up

The 50th Annual Grammy Awards have come and gone and all I can say is...THANK GOD! From the Red Carpet to the Closing Credits, it was once again a non-stop hot mess with small doses of hotness thrown in by accident. It could easily take me from now til the next show to write everything that was wrong but I've got a life so instead, I'll just hit the high and lowlights.

Red Carpet Highlights:

Jay Z
Ne-Yo
Ludacris
Rihanna
Nelly Furtado
Faith Hill - Boring but age appropriate.

Red Carpet Lowlights:

While there were a few fashion missteps which I've listed below, without a doubt, the winners of the 2008 Hot Mess Award goes to Nas & Kelis; Hip Hop's Phoniest Hoodrats. Wasting tons of money on over-priced, cheap jewelry and designer clothes while pretending to make some social commentary on racism in America but really promoting Nas' next flop CD, "Nigger". Nigga pleez!!

Chris Brown - Brotha, you've made a couple dollars. Stop trying to sew your own garments and hire a stylist.



Akon - No fur coats on men! Especially when it's 80 damned degress fool.



Chris Daughtry - No pleather! Especially when it's 80 damned degrees. What if that would've melted on the red carpet? Then again, at least they'd have a new wardrobe malfuction to talk about.



Beyonce - Once again, she had on a "hey look at me" ensemble and once again, she looked like a damned fool. Either Tina Knowles has really bad taste or she hates her daughter's guts. CONDEMN THE HOUSE OF DEREON!



Jill Scott - Jill, I love you but once you you're larger than a Size 11, you must stick to matte finishes. This is not to say that a full figured gal can't shut the red carpet down because she can. But please, please, please, No Shiny Outfits. You looked like a satellite dish.



Corinne Bailey Rae - Mama, those shoes look like you got them on sale from Baker's. Jimmy Choo, Manolo Blahnik, Cesare Paciotti, not BOGO by Payless.

Show Highlights:

Tina Turner still doing the damn thing at the age of 107.

Show Lowlights:

Everything else but especially Alicia Keys screaming "No One" at me. Why does everybody else sound better singing that song than her? When Stevie Wonder introduced her, he sang a line from the song and shut her down before she even got on stage.



Honorable mention goes to the Gospel Extravaganza. Please make Aretha Franklin stop. I thought she was the Queen of Soul as well as the Queen of the Pig People but now, she's taking on the rest of the barnyard. Bebe Winan's cow print jacket was worn in honor of being on stage with the First Lady of Utters.

Who Asked L.A. Reid in the First Damn Place

Stop The Presses! Contrary to what was previously reported by your boy Nate, "LUV" is not the second single from Janet's "Discipline". The second single is definitely "Rock With U", as reported by Janet-Xone.com and other outlets. Sources told Nate that Janet wanted "LUV" to be the second single and the dancers even started rehearsing an already well choreographed routine but L.A. Reid, Janet's label boss feels that "Rock" should be the next single and flexed his bossman muscle. Sources went on to say that when Janet came into rehearsal today, she informed the dancers that there was a change and they started working on choreographing a routine to "Rock". Nate thinks this is a HUGE mistake. "LUV" has all the familiar elements Janet fans love about her music but with an up to date twist that doesn't make her seem like an old lady trying too hard. You know, like Paula I'm Dull. "LUV" is the perfect single to be out when the album drops. Let's hope this doesn't finish mama before she even gets started. We all know that the old skool label execs don't have an original thought in their heads so maybe L.A. Reid chose "Rock With U" because Perez Hilton is really feeling it.

Monkey With a Pet Pig?

50 Pennies, or as I like to call him, Chompers, the Rappin' Monkey (at least he got his teeth fixed), thought he was getting Miss G.O.A.T. but it turned out to be Miss P.I.G.G.Y. I mean come on, she's a trainwreck with no survivors! When she was with B.I.G. she said she was the Black Erica Kane, but now that she's with the Ruler of The Planet of the Apes, I say she's the Black Joan Rivers. Take that back, she look like Miss Swan from Mad TV. "He looka likea chimp!"
And those tracks on her Myspace page or an even bigger disaster. Somebody send this to Foxy with a prison care package. It will make her time behind bars fly by. If B.I.G hadn't been gunned down, her face would've given him a heartache for sure.

Janet, OOH YEAH DAMMIT!!!

The next video for Janet's highly anticipated new disc, "Discipline" is "Luv". You can stream it, along with "Feedback" and another track titled "Rock With U" (no, it's not a cover of her brother Michael's one decent tune from his career...yeah I said it...What!) from her official website. You know Nate has the link.

http://www.janetjackson.com/content/jukebox.php


My sources say the dancers are already rehearsing for a March video shoot. This track is the HOTNESS! Anybody not feeling it is drinking Haterade by the gallons.

Blind Item

Ok kids, let's see if you're on your toes like I think you are. Which celebrity hip hop couple was in Vegas for New Years? Well that's easy, damn near all of them. But, which one might be headed for Judge Maybelline Efraim's Divorce Court because he is sick of her spending all his money. She decided to fly her family and friends out to Vegas to be with with them for the holiday. She said she was gonna ride his card to the wheels fell off...and they did. He was hearing DECLINED all over Sin City. She spends like his money is XXL but he wants to save. He has to think about his Destiny child.

OK Britney...ENOUGH!

I am not now nor have I ever been a Titty, I mean Britney Spears fan. To me, if Madonna and Janet had a baby that was born retarded, addicted to crack and left in a trailer park sniffing heroin, it would be Titty, I mean Britney. She's built her career by biting off of those two far more talented women but, then again, who hasn't? She's a former Mousekateer, turned media whore who cheated on her former Mousekateer boyfriend with his best friend (allegedly) and then got pissed when he sang about it, but then again, who wouldn't? She hooked up with one (many) of her backup dancers, who quickly unrolled his anaconda (word has it, Federline is packing!!!) and plowed her mercilessly and was stupid enough to not only marry him, but squeeze out not one, but two permanent connections to this man, but then again, who doesn't? I say all that to say, Titty, everybody bites off of someone. Everybody makes mistakes when it comes to young love. Everybody has someone in their past who they enjoyed fucking but knows it was a mistake. A BIG MISTAKE even. But it's what you do after all of that which defines who you were, who you are and who you're going to be. If you are really concerned about your kids, keep your ass at home and raise them. Don't be at the clubs, hanging out with Paris, but without your draws. Don't keep hanging out with West Hollywood Crystal queens who want you doped up so you don't remember how much money you spent on them. Don't call the paps to tell them where you're going and then pretend to be annoyed when they show up. And please don't start fucking one of the paps, who is probably only with you for bragging rights and to be able to snap pix and video of you either nude or getting fucked by him. Otherwise, just let Shar and Kevin have the kids and be done with it. You are on the Anna Nicole Express to the cemetary. Whether Federline got you the ticket is up for debate. The fact that you are trying to redeem it is all on you.

Guess Who's Back!

Happy New Year everybody. Sorry I've been MIA but a brotha has a lot of plates spinning in mid air. I promise to try to stay on top of things this year. 2008 is all about being ORGANIC. For Nate, that means giving you the story with no additives or preservatives.